


Lessons Learned

by orphan_account



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all begins with Maglor wanting to give the young Peredhels he and his brother captured a some sense of normalcy in their lives. He gave them over to Erestor so that they might learn simple things, how to read and write. He hardly expected to find his own relationship with the twins to develop, and Maedhros expected it even less...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maglor

They walked as though I were leading them to their executions. Eyes fixed on ahead, silent and stiff-backed, the rhythmic padding of their feet against the stone floor a near march. I glanced down at the two of them again, tugging at the ends of my hair absently as I brought them back to their room for the night.

So it had been each week since Maedhros and I had brought the twins here. The boys could hardly be described as comfortable- in the fortress of their enemy? The very heart of the territory of those who'd they'd seen drive their mother over a cliff? Ai, no. I do not blame them- but a sort of routine had settled over it all.

I sighed. The sun had set, and the corridors were mostly shadow and the flickering light from torches. Movement -more than usual- from one of them made me slow in my pace. Elrond- no, no, Elros. He had been the less subdued of the two, though wary as ever- was turning back. To me?

No. Still, lost hope as it was that either of the twins would say something, my stomach still fluttered, and my tongue suddenly became this great clumsy thing in my mouth, to heavy to allow me to speak.

Not that it mattered. Elros's eyes darted over the walls and behind him, only just glancing over me. He said nothing.

They never did, either of them. Only when directly spoken to, and then only enough to be deemed polite. To not anger the Kinslayers. They remained holled up in their room all day- leaving only when I came in to get them ready for bed or for their meals- though they had free reign of the fortress so long as they did not get underfoot, or try to leave the walls.

My stomach twisted at the thought of it. Such things have become common as of late. I could remember what the Ambarussa were like at their age. The imps, constantly getting into everything, twigs tangled into their hair and dirt smudging their faces. Ai! What I would not have given for a moment of quiet from them then! But they were constant sound, chatting leagues-a-minute about nothing, running- crashing- into everything, so full of laughter...

Elrond and Elros stopped before the door to their room, puling me out of my thoughts. The wood creaked on it's hinges as I pushed the door open, swinging it inwards. It was a small room, stark with bare walls and arrow slits as windows, but we had tried to make it as comfortable as possible- I had tried to make it as comfortable as possible.

The rug from my room covered much of what otherwise would have been a bare floor. _“They are not the Twins Makalaurë. It would do you well to remember that.”_ Maitimo had told me. That was the day I'd had Amrod's old bed moved in here.

I watched them as they scampered into the room, pulling themselves onto that bed. No need to wait for help, and the sooner I was gone the better. Meanwhile, I went over to their bedside table and picked up the lamp casting everything in it's blue glow. We had few enough to give light to the corridors, but with our dwindling numbers each year, more than enough for a few bedrooms.

I glanced back over at the twins, already curling up underneath their blanket, turned towards one another. They watched, their heads turned up, eyeing me warily, wanting me gone. Sighing, I nodded to myself. I took the lamp with me as I headed out the door, so that they might better sleep.

They could not go on like this. Something had to be done. 


	2. Erestor

Pale winter sunlight streamed through the barracks windows and glinted off of the blade in my hand. The Sun was just beginning to rise. We awoke and began our drills before dawn and by now Lord Makalaurë and Lord Maedhros's soldiers were in the Hall, breaking their fast.

Narrowing my eyes, I leaned in closer to my sword, inspecting it for even the smallest speck. Cold sweat slicked down my hair making it cling to my face. It seeped down into the wool and leather beneath my mail as well. My mail...Eru, I would need to tend to that next, and then perhaps I could manage at least to re-order my swiftly unraveling braid before I met with my Lords to discuss troop positioning around Amon Ereb. Ai, we were stretched thin enough as it was...

“Loremaster.”

At the sound of that voice, ringing through the empty barracks, I sat right up, my head raised, my shoulders pulled back.

“How long do you plan on polishing that blade? I have been back here, waiting for you to finish for at least five minutes now.” Lord Makalaurë continued.

A small smile touched my lips. “Until it shines like mithril and looks worthy of bearing the name of Curufinwë Fëanáro as it's maker, M'lord.”

I watched him approach out of the corner of my eyes, passing through still lingering shadow as he strode towards the front of my bed. He was silent, eyes narrowed as he leaned forward, arms crossed behind his back.

“Huh.” Lord Makalaurë finally said, turning his eyes back up to look at me. He smirked. “You will have worn it down to nothing first.”

Laying my sword down beside me, I sighed and turned back to him. “Is there something you require of me M'lord?”

Makalaurë shook his head, giving me a wan smile. “I come to you as a friend, Erestar.”

I blinked, silent for a long moment as I looked him up and down. The circles beneath his eyes seemed even darker than usual. I frowned, but said nothing, instead merely taking my sword up again and resting it against the ground. I leaned against it as I gestured towards the now empty place beside me. “Sit, then, my Lord Songbird.”

That earned me a low chuckle, “Ai...” The word came out a sigh. I watched him as he walked and sat heavily down next to me. The bed creaked beneath his weight. “Long has it been since I have heard that name.” There was a pause, “Carrion Crow would perhaps be more apt now.”

My brows drew together, a flutter of uncertainty rose within me. I shook my head, saying in response the only thing I could think _to_ say.”And longer still has it been since I have aspired to anything so high as 'Loremaster.'” I took in a breath and looked Makalaurë full in the eyes, “I ask you now- as a friend- what do you need of me?”

Silence followed. Apparently I had pricked his pride, for his chin rose, and his eyes roved over me, before Lord Makalaurë just shook his head and fixed his gaze straight ahead of himself. He spread hands out across his knees, leaning back then pressing forward.

I watched him, waiting, listening as he sucked in a long breath.

“It is, actually, your knowledge which I seek.”

Again I could only blink, unsure of what he was getting at and even less sure of what I was meant to sat in turn. “Lord-” I began. “ _Makalaurë_ , what do you-”

He was tugging at his hair, twisting a strand of it around his finger. No wonder it had so often been a mess when we were younger.

“Erestar...” He began, turning just enough that one of his eyes was focused on me, “Erestar, I realize that you are no school teacher, and neither were you training to become one. And yet...you seem to be the person best suited for the task.” He pressed his lips together and shut his eyes, steeling himself against his next request. Turning more fully back to me, he said, “The twins need a teacher.”

My eyes widened, _“Me?”_ That single syllable came tumbling from my mouth, and I could only grimace at the unworthiness of it. Eru. _Me?!_

“You are one of the most learned nér in Amon Ereb.” Makalaurë was continuing. He fell silent then, suddenly. His hand slipped down from that strand of hair he'd been playing with, down to my cot. Absently he began plucking at the sheets. “...And they fear me.”

“And you think they will not feel the same about your friends? Your servants? The men under your command?”

Makalaurë's face became a mask of utter calm, but his eyes had turned to sword steel, even beneath those dark circles. He just stared, silent, for several moments. “They did not watch you...” He halted in his speech, the rest coming out as nothing so much as a breath that was finally being released. Empty air. “They will not fear you as they do me.”

My hand twitched, wanting to reach out for my old friend. To comfort him, though mentally I realized it was no longer my place. That our positions had changed too much since we were children on Valinor, studying under the same master.

Huh! Even then he wouldn't let me! Stubborn bastard had always been proud.

And thus, we sat in silence. I watched Makalaurë's throat draw as he swallowed down whatever emotions were roiling inside him, and collect himself once more. “I need you to do this, Erestar.”

“Ai, Makalaurë, these boys are kept as hostages here! And I, as your second-in-command? They will hardly look kindly upon me. Will they even be calm enough to learn?”

“Moreso than were I to attempt.” Another shaking breath, “They are only boys, hostages though they may be. And they are innocent. They did not deserve any of this, Erestar, and...They need someone. Someone they will not fear will draw a blade on them at the most opportune moment.”

I hesitated for a long moment. This was utter madness. I'd seen the looks on those boy's faces as they were taken from their homes. Wide eyed and holding one another, huddled back in the darkest corner of our camp at night, as far from everyone else as they could manage.

Perhaps it was the welling of pity within me, but finally I let out a long sigh and I nodded. “I will...see what I can do. Send them to the library after morning drills, I will meet them there.”

The first true smile to grace Makalaurë's face that day spread across his lips “Thank you, Erestar.” He murmured, bowing his head. Placing a hand on my shoulder he gave it a quick squeeze, before pushing himself to his feet and slipping off again.


	3. Elros

I could still hear Elrond sleeping next to me. His breathing, I mean. I kept my eyes shut. Sometimes it was possible to forget that we're not back home. That we were actually being kept prisoner in the fortress of the people who killed our friends. Our mother.

It's easier in the dark, when no one else is awake yet and the sun doesn't shine so weirdly through the windows. In our old room they were across from me, on the other side. They were big- not the arrow slits we have here- and all colored glass made to look like dolphins. The sunlight was blue when it shone through them in the morning.

Here it's just bright, focused enough that it shines right in my eyes and makes me wake up. I squinted against the light, and pushed myself up off the bed. Why was it so bright? Rubbing my eyes, I began shaking Elrond awake.

“Mmmm...go away...” He muttered

_“Elrond!”_ I gave him another push, before dropping off the side of the bed, down to the floor.

“What?” I looked up to see him blinking, turning over and back, head swishing around when he saw I wasn't there. He stopped when his eyes landed on me again, and he cocked his head to the side, and leaned over the edge. “What happened?”

I hesitated for a moment, not sure of what so say exactly. _“Nothing.”_ I finally settled on. Usually Maglor would have come for us by now. I pressed my lips together, glancing around. A weird, empty feeling boiled up in my stomach, but then my fists tightened, nails digging into my palms. They'd already stolen us, now they'd _forgotten_ us too? “No one came. Where do you think they are?”

Elrond's eyebrows drew together, and he began glancing around too. “I don't know. How late do you think it is?”

I shrugged, watching him as he began sliding down off of the bed. He landed without a sound. He's always been better at that than me. Naneth always teased that I have the feet of a Mûmakil.

Disappearing around the corner of the bed, Elrond reappeared back at my side. “Should we look for him?”

“Why would you want to?” I asked.

That made him stop for a moment and think. “I...don't know.” He finally said.

“But what do we do now?”

“What we always do.”

“But what if someone comes while we're out? And what if they see that we're gone? What if we get in trouble?”

I swallowed at that thought, glancing over to Elrond. We just stared at one another for a long moment.

“Welll...” Digging my toes into the thinning rug I glanced over towards the door and trailed off again. With a big sigh I finally turned back to my brother. “What if they have forgotten us though? I don't want to stay here all day.”

Elrond sucked on his lip, looking thoughtful. He crossed his arms, his fingers pressing into them one at a time. “We could...go check?” He finally said. “If Maglor isn't there, we can go.”

I nodded. It seemed smart to me. “Come, then.” I said, “I don't hear any music. Maglor's probably gone.” Probably.

We started creeping towards the far wall and the door. Each step I took sounded too loud to my ears, especially compared to Elrond's, but we kept going. Outside there was the usual noise of people walking in and out, ready to catch us at any minute. My stomach always went all twisty when we did this, and today was no different. I could hear Elrond suck in a deep breath too. Glancing back at him, I tried to smile. We could do this. We'd done it before. We wouldn't get caught.

Standing on my tip-toes, I reached up for the doorknob. It was cold, slipping beneath my fingers as I tried to turn it. _Almost had it...just a little more..._

There was a small click and the door opened. Elrond and I poked out heads out, glancing around. The corridor seemed empty though, so we started creeping forwards.

Maglor's room is at the far side of the corridor. Not too far that he can't hear us moving around- we can certainly hear _him_ at night, staying up past when we fall asleep still playing his harp- but now it felt like it might as well have been home and the Havens of Sirion.

The sunlight poured through everywhere not leaving even a shadow on the cold, stone floors or walls. There was no where for Elrond and I to hide as we went, one step forward, then another, across the way. I could hear voices down from the rest of the hall, and the clink of metal against metal.

They could see us. I was sure of it!

We kept going though.

Maglor's door stood facing down another corridor, out towards the rest of the fortress. It was closed.

I glanced back to Elrond. “Should we...?”

He moved past me, pressing his ear up against the door. For a long time he was quiet. I kept glancing down the hall, sure someone would come across us at any minute.

“I don't hear anyone.” he whispered back.

“Maybe...” I hesitated for a moment, looking down the hall, then back towards the door. “Elrond keep watch.” I finally said, turning around and standing tip-toe again.

“What?! Elros what are you-” He cut himself off, giving a big huff as he turned, crossing his arms and staring down the hall. My fingers slipped across the doorknob again, struggling to keep a good hold so that I could turn it.

“Elros.”

Almost had it, just a little more...

_“Elros...”_

My hands slipped. I cast a glare back at my brother, before trying once more.

_“Elros! Don't you hear that!? Someone is coming!”_

I stumbled back at my brother's words. I still didn't see anything, but as my brother began dragging me off I could have sworn I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. We both shot back down the corridor into our room again, not caring if anyone heard us, even me and my Mûmakil feet.

We nearly tumbled back into our room, we stopped so suddenly. The door slammed shut behind us. I grimaced. Someone was sure to have heard _that._

As if reading my thoughts, the door opened just then.

Elrond and I shot upright, standing next to one another and trying to look as innocent as possible as we struggled to hide how heavily our breath was coming.

Maedhros stood before us, his shadow alone looming over our bodies. His hair hung wet in front of his face, and he pushed it back, quirking an eyebrow down at us as he did so. The three scars crisscrossing the side of his face shone palely against the rest of his skin.

“What happened?” The first words out of his mouth.

I could feel Elrond's gaze on me, waiting. I was always the one to talk us out of these situations.

“Nothing.” I said.

That just made Maedhros raise his eyebrows higher. He crossed his arms, making a sort of grunting noise. “Right.”

I did just what he did, crossing my arms and everything. “Yes.” I hoped my that voice didn't sound as small as I felt right then.

But Maedhros just shook his head, letting out a long sigh. “Come,” He said, uncrossing his arms and waving for us to follow him. He began turning and walking away, “I am sure you two will better keep out of trouble if you are _not_ left to starve.”

Elrond and I glanced at each other, and though we hesitated for a moment, we found ourselves following Maedhros anyway.

“Where's Lord Maglor?” I asked after a moment.

Maedhos's head went up, and he turned to look down at me. “He is attending to something else...”

I cocked my head to the side, daring another step forward. I think I saw him smirk.

“He said it was about you actually.” He continued, but from there, Maedhros just shook his head, and turned forward again, “Any more than that I cannot tell you. _He_ did not tell _me_.” He gave a short snort and all three of us fell silent once more.

~*~

The sounds of talk and laughter reached us before we got to the Hall. It wasn't right. Not behind these grim walls. Not in the home of the people who killed my mother. Why did they get to live their lives as though it were normal?

The clatter of plates and silverware, goblets and mugs against the tables as they ate did make me move a bit faster though. A hollow pang suddenly went through my stomach, making me realize how hungry I was.

As Maedhros led us through the Hall, to the high table, everything suddenly went silent. Maedhros never ate with us. He was always buried in his study. that was what Maglor said once, in one of those times he was trying to get us to talk. If Maedhros noticed the eyes on him however, he just stared on straight ahead.

I felt Elrond edge closer to me. I grabbed his hand and glanced back towards him, trying to flash a smile. He tried to give one back, but soon his eyes traveled over to Maedhros, and he frowned.

When we got to the high table we had our plates put in front of us. Hungry as I was, I could only pick at my food, my eyes kept darting back towards Maedhros.

Maglor was one thing. We were used to Maglor. We knew what he could do, we saw it, but...he hadn't done anything to us since, in all the times we saw him.

Maedhros we hardly ever saw, and we preferred it that way.

As much as we watched him though, he was watching us. All three of us were pretending not to, his eyes scanning out over the hall as the silence dissipated one more, and Elrond and I constantly glancing back at him. That was how it was when Maglor came up behind us.

Maedhros was leaning against the tale, his weight balanced all on the one arm, When he turned, suddenly perking upright. “Kano.” He said.

Elrond and I shot around.

Maglor stood there with another Elf standing off a bit behind him. I remembered him vaguely, seeing him sitting next to Maglor at meals sometimes. He was a head shorter than Maglor, though he held himself stick-straight. His hair was tied back into a tight rope-of-a-braid down his back. The new elf bowed his head to Maedhros.

“Nelyo.” Maglor replied. He gestured back towards the New Elf, before pausing and glancing at us. “Forgive me.” He said, “I would have come sooner- for you two as well-” He added turning towards us, “Erestor proved to need more persuading than I had hoped.” He grimaced.

Maedhros's eyes roved over the two of them. “Persuading to do _what_?” he asked.

“What else?” Maglor said. He turned again towards Elrond and I. “Elrond, Elros, Erestor is going to be your new tutor.”


	4. Maedhros

I watched Elrond and Elros out of the corner of my eye as they ate. Rather, I should say, as they pushed their food around their plates, every so often nibbling on a corner of toast or a bit of bacon, before their wary eyes drifted back towards me once more. Releasing a long breath, I turned away from them _._

 _Makalaurë, what were you even thinking?_ The thought crossed my mind as I absently traced my fingers across the wood grain of the table. I paused, sliding my gaze back to the two boys watching me. _**Were** you even thinking?_ I corrected.

Well, I knew the answer to that from the moment he asked. That is, if grabbing me right as I stepped from my chambers, having just washed, and saying, “Ai, Nelyo! There you are! See that the twins are cared for this morning? I have something important to see to- Do not look at me like that, if all goes well you will have __less__ of me worrying over what they are getting up to during our councils. I will be back soon enough in any case, you merely have to meet me in the Hall. Please brother? Thank you,” before slipping off and dissapearing into the next corridor, off Eru knew where, could be considered “asking.”

Makalaurë knew well enough what my answer would have been, had I been given the chance to speak. The boys feared both my brother and I, and rightfully, and unlike Kano I had not been so uselessly forcing my presence upon them. I was unfamiliar, and therefore even worse company than Makalaurë. And now here we three sat, with both peredhel watching me as though they thought me some barely tamed wolf.

_Ai, Makalaurë what were you thinking?_

As if in answer to that unvoiced question, I heard the hushed voice of my brother from somewhere behind me. Glancing up I saw him walking towards us, locked in conversation with Erestar

 _Hrmmm..._ My eyes narrowed, and I sat up straighter.

“Kano.” I said

Beside me I could _hear_ both Elrond and Elros spinning around.

“Nelyo.” Makalaurë stopped a few feet off from us, gesturing towards Erestar as he began apologizing for having been kept longer than he thought he would be. Erestar bowed his head just slightly. My gaze lingered on my brother's second-in-command for a long moment, before I turned back towards Makalaurë.

He said something about Erestar needing persuading. I quirked an eyebrow at that. “Persuading to do _what?”_ I asked.

He answered not me, but instead turned to address the twins. “...Erestor is going to be your new tutor.”

His announcement was met with silence. From Elros. From Elrond. From me. I saw Elrond slowly turn in his chair to look up at Erestar. Elros slid down off of his and crept forward, nearer to his brother.

My gaze went from the twins to Makalaurë, my lips pressing together into a hard line.

“May I speak to you?” I asked, already moving to my feet.

Makalaurë glanced for a moment back at the two boys, then to me. It was Erestar who spoke up, resting a hand on my brother's shoulder, before stepping forward and taking what I assumed was his usual place at the table.

“I will watch the boys for you, my lord?” He said, glancing up at the two of us.

I did not give Makalaurë a chance to respond. “Yes. Thank you, Erestar” I murmured, not even turning to the other nér as I lay a hand on Makalaurë's shoulder and began firmly leading him away.

Our pace was brisk as we moved across the hall, past tables buzzing with activity, only to be silenced to murmuring whispers in our wake.

Makalaurë glanced first towards the blur of people we were passing back to me, “Now, Maedhros, allow me to-”

“You do not even _speak_ to me first?” I hissed. We'd reached the doorway by now, and I turned us around the corner, stopping outside in the wide, empty corridor.“You could not even talk to me about this? Makalaurë, Erestar is-”

“A nér formerly training as a Loremaster and the best person here for the job.”

I clenched my teeth, swallowing down the words I truly wished to say to Makalaurë before continuing. “He is also a _soldier _,__ Makalaurë, not a schoolteacher. He has far more concerning him before the education of our hostages. ”

My brother jerked back, as though I'd wounded him with my casual naming of the twins. For an instant I saw his eyes widen from behind the shadowed bars the sunlight streaming through the windows painted across his face. He shook it off though, returning to his full height and looking me directly in the eyes. “They are _children_ , in case you have forgotten.” Makalaurë shook his head, letting out a long breath. More calmly he added, “I _realize_ we are still at war, brother, believe me, I do. I will not have Erestar taken from his duties. But we are _all_ soldiers here. I have asked him to do this and he agreed, and he is _my_ man, Maedhros. Not yours.”

He spoke in that quiet manner of his. The one that said he would not be swayed. At least, as far as he would allow me to know.

I shook my head. “This ends at the first sign of trouble, orcish or otherwise.” I said.

He nodded, “Yes. Of course.”

“And _I_ will deem when that ending will be necessary.” I gave Makalaurë a look that could match the tone in his voice. He opened his mouth to say something, but seeing how hard my eyes had become, he just nodded.

Sighing, I waved for him to go. Much like Erestar, I had my own duties to attend to, and they did not involve standing out in the middle of some corridor arguing with my brother all day. As he turned to go, I spoke up once more.

“They are not the Twins, Makalaurë.” I said, “Do not allow yourself to grow so attached.”


	5. Elrond

_New tutor..._ I turned halfway around, pressing my lips together, casting a wary look over towards the new elf. Erestor. The chair behind me creaked. It was the only sound I heard from nearby. Everyone had gone quiet.

My chair pushed forward. Looking down, I saw Elros leaning against one of the legs. He spared me only a quick glance, before turning back to stare at Erestor himself.

“May I speak to you?” The words came from behind me. Maedhros's voice was soft, but something underneath the words made me dig my fingers into the wood of my seat. I didn't want to turn around to see what he looked like: holding himself all tense so that every muscle stood out with barely contained anger, his eyes gone like stone from beneath the shadow of his glower. The scars crossing his face would be standing out even more, and he wouldn't be just standing there. No. Maedhros was probably _looming_ right now.

I swallowed. When I looked up I saw Maglor looking from us, back to Maedhros. He didn't look scared. Only like he didn't know what to do.

That was when Erestor spoke up and took the seat next to me at the table. I pushed myself to the far edge of my chair. It shook, and I looked down to see Elrond digging his fingers into the leg he was leaning against. He glowered even harder at Erestor as he offered to watch us. Maedhros answered for the both of them, too fast for Maglor to even speak, before leading Maglor away.

And then we were alone.

I stared over at Erestor out of the corner of my eye. He must have noticed, because he was suddenly sitting straighter and his eyes were brighter, more focused. A weak smile crossed his face, the same sort that Maglor often gave us, before he let it fall with a sigh a moment later. His fingers knotted together as he fell against the back of his chair again.

“Why?” my stomach lept when I heard my brother speak, though I was thinking it too.

“Hmmm?” Erestor's eyes darted first towards me, then under the chair, towards Elros.

“Why?” My brother repeated, “Why are they making us learn from you?”

“Elros...” I hissed, never once looking away from Erestor.

Erestor didn't seem angry though. He was quiet for a long while, licking his lips. Breaking his hands apart, he began tracing his fingers along the wood grain on the table. When he did speak, his voice was quiet, and he spoke slowly, like he was looking for the right words. “Lord Maglor thinks you _should_ learn...that...well...” He let out another long sigh here, “He wants you to have some sense of normalcy in your lives.”

As soon as he finished he looked away, like he thought that his own words were weak.

“We _had_ a tutor. Back home.” Elros replied. Erestor glanced over towards my brother again. “Her name was Glassel. We don't know what happened to her.”

 _We probably don't **want** to know what happened to her_ , I didn't say. I pulled my arms closer around myself. I could still remember Glassel and her quick smiles, easy laughter. All the stories- true ones, she said- that she used to teach us. We went looking for her that morning, when everyone was running around, screaming, and it was just Elros and I lost in all the mess of steel and blood, but we never found her.

I could feel my throat beginning to close up, but I blinked away the tears at my eyes.

Erestor's gaze drew inward and he pressed his lips together, but he said nothing more.

I began looking around the Hall then, a hush seemed to have fallen over it. Probably because of Maedhros and Maglor's sudden exit. I shifted in my seat, glancing down at Elros again and reaching for him. He grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

It was then I saw someone come into the Hall out of the corner of my eye. I looked up to see Maglor walking back to us. He was walking more stiffly than usual, his face kept studiously blank. He was tugging at his hair again though...

I shook my head. I didn't like seeing him like that, it made my skin feel too tight for my own body. Shifting in my seat, I turned away from him. As much as I could, anyway. It was not long before he was back, up at the high table.

“Thank you, Erestor.” Maglor muttered. The other Elf nodded, murmuring something about work needing to be done, before standing and darting away. Maglor slipped back into Erestor's earlier place and began looking us over. Letting out a long sigh he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“Ai!” I glanced up as I heard him speak, and he spared both my brother and I a weak smile. “Come,” He murmured waving for us to follow him. “It seems Maedhros didn't even bother to change you out of your bedclothes yet. Let's get you two dressed then shall we?”

My brother and I looked at one another then nodded, before following Maglor out of the room.


	6. Elros

It was all so small out there. Trees and forest and hills, for miles and miles...

“Elros.”

I _should_ have pretended I didn't hear him. I _should_ have pressed myself closer to the wall, stood higher on my tiptoes, and looked further out what little of the arrow slit I could see out of. I should have.

Instead my face screwed up for a second before I turned around, silently answering Maglor's call. He was across the room, kneeling next to Elrond and giving him one last look-over now that he'd gotten us dressed. He waved me over.

I stayed where I was, crossing my arms and looking up at him in the same way I'd looked up at Maedhros earlier. One of Maglor's eyebrows went up and he tilted his head back a bit as he looked me up and down.

Then he looked me right in the eyes, the weird silvery fire in his seemed to flicker for a moment.

“Elros...” Maglor said again, his voice growing lower this time.

I wasn't looking at Elrond, but I could picture his eyes growing bigger as he watched the two of us. I could picture him edging away from Maglor, and pressing his lips together and licking them as he thought at me _Please just come over here Elros, please?_

My own stomach was turning itself in knots, and before I even thought it, one of my feet was starting to step forward. I brought it right back though. Stayed where I was. I would not let him think that I was afraid of him!

Maglor sighed. He ran a hand over his face and rubbed at his eyes, shaking his head as he pushed himself back to his feet again. “As you wish, Elros.” he said. I thought, for a moment, that I saw the fire in his eyes dim.

My brother and I just nodded. A silence settled between the three of us.

“You know, you do not have to stay _here_...” I saw him glancing out towards the door as if looking for a chaperon to call for us. He said this nearly every day. And like every day before Elrond and I just nodded again, pulling farther into the room.

Maglor dragged his fingers through his hair continuing on with the usual speech. “If you two need anything I will be in Maedhros's study...or...” He stopped, his brows drawing together and frowning to himself. Elrond and I glanced at one another. Usually he told us to wait there quietly for him if he wasn't. That Maedhros would get him. Now he seemed more unsure.

“Find someone.” He finally said, “They will take you to me and we will get you sorted, understood?”

For the third time, the both of us nodded.

“Good then.” A pause. “I will be back for you soon.” He hesitated for a moment more. And then he was gone. Elrond listened as Maglor's footsteps faded off into the distance, I couldn't hear them in the first place, so I had to rely on him. Finally, my brother turned to me.

“He's gone.” Elrond said.

“We have a few hours then.” I started off towards the door, “Let's go.”

~*~

“Where _are_ we going, Elros?” Elrond whispered to me as we crept down the corridors. We had gotten really good at sneaking in the last few weeks. Maglor might have _said_ we were allowed around the fortress as we pleased, but I don't think he wanted us out on out own, looking for a way to escape.

“Ummm....” I glanced around for a moment, then pointed to my left. “That way.” I said, “I don't think we've looked around very much by he south of the fortress yet.”

Elrond blinked. “Is that south?”

I pointed to the map I had been making of Amon Ereb. “The map says it is.”

“Are you holding the map right?” Elrond paused for a minute, “Did you _draw_ the map right?”

I turned to my brother, letting out a long breath and giving him a flat look. “Whichever way it is, I don't think we've looked around very much there! Are you coming or not?”

Elrond sighed, looking up and down the corridor to make sure no one was coming, before he started off, down the way I had pointed him.

I gave a short grunt and I nodded, before running after him to catch up.

~*~

There was a door at the end of the corridor we'd gone down. A servant's entrance, right near the kitchens. You could see people swarming around it, covered in flour or animal's blood, or carrying things in and out. They called to each other, talked. I even think I heard them laughing as they went about their chores and things.

I glared at them from where I watched.

Elrond and I were sat behind a big pillar in an archway, just at the end of our corridor. The shadows covered us. I don't think we were very well seen.

"We could escape through this way.” I said after a while. “At night, while everyone is sleeping. What do you think?”

“We could...” Elrond said. He scratched at the floor absentmindedly, glancing back out at the door. It was quiet right then. “Where would we go?”

My brows drew together as I thought for a long moment. “We could become outlaws!” I said, “Like grandfather Tuor! Then we could find some of our old people again, yeah? Some of them must be left, after all.” They had to be. Glassel, Lindir, anybody. Someone _had_ to have survived. There were too many of them...too many people I knew, I cared about. They couldn't all be dead.

Elrond was pressing his lips together. He was looking thoughtful, and kind of frowning. I hated it when he got that look on his face. “Wasn't grandfather Tuor a lot bigger then us though? I mean, when he became an outlaw. And he knew how to fight.”

“I didn't _say_ we had to leave now.” I offered up weakly.

A silence settled over us, and Elrond and I just looked at one another. I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was at that moment.

_How long before we can go? I don't want to be here forever._

_I don't know if we'll last forever..._

I curled up into my corner then, tucking myself closer in to the wall. The stone was cold, and it dug into my back. I ignored it though, beginning to scratch at the floor myself while I watched that back door.

“Hey, Elros?”

I glanced back over to Elrond. On all fours, he was leaning forward, over towards me. His brows were drawn together and he still had that frown on his face. “We'll get out of here.” He said, “You're smart, I'm smart. We'll figure something out.”

~*~

“Do you think it's kind of...quiet here?” Elrond asked me.

We'd finished scouting out around the south corridors and the servant's entry by now. We weren't about to go back to out room yet. A couple of weeks ago we'd found a spot near the top of the fortress, and it looked perfectly over the courtyard where Maedhros and Maglor and all their men trained. Sometimes we would watch.

“What do you mean?” I asked, cocking my head to the side and turning back to look at my brother.

“It always seem so...empty here. Especially where we go.”

I thought about that for a while, then shook my head, keeping my eyes fixed on ahead of me.

“We're good at sneaking around. We go by the corridors that people don't use much.” I suggested.

“Hmmmm....” Elrond was shaking his head, I could tell just from the way he said that _“hmmmmm.”_

“What?” I asked.

“Why have all this space if you aren't going to use it? I just think-” He stopped then, and took a deep breath. He was silent for a long while as he looked for the right words. “I just think,” he started again, several minutes later, “that there should be more people here, especially with the stories Naneth told us.”

I blinked, before turning back to my brother and narrowing my eyes. I stared for a long time, my footsteps slowing, before I shook my head and turned away.

I glared at the ground. “I think.” I said, “That there are enough people here as it is.”

~*~

“Elros?”

I didn't say anything, instead I glared out over the courtyard, watching the people below as they swung out at each other. From up here they all looked like ants, their swords little pinpricks of light as the sun caught off of them. I could pretend to crush them if I stuck my thumb over them in the right way.

“Elros? I'm sorry! You know I didn't mean it like-”

I turned to my brother, just glaring for a long minute. “Yes.” I eventually said, “I know.” I turned back out, looking over the training field again.

“Elros...”

I let out a big sigh. “It's fine, Elrond.” I muttered. I was silent for a long moment. “It...isn't you I should be mad at.”

“Mmmmm.” Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Elrond nod as he folded up his arms and leaned against the wall next to me. He got on his tiptoes and began looking out the windows too.

Out on the field, I saw the brightest flash of light yet. Maglor's sword, I knew. Narsil.

“That one's going to be mine one day.” I said.

I heard Elrond shift in his spot. He pushed away from the wall, and I could feel him watching me. “What?”

“Narsil.” I said, pushing away from the wall myself to look at my brother.

“But...Maglor-”

“Drove Naneth away.” I felt my nails digging into my palms as I remembered. Elros and I had been hiding in that same room, in a cupboard. I'd peaked out for only a minute and...

I shook my head, and started walking away, feeling my throat starting to close but trying to ignore it.

“I'm going to take it.” I said, “And then I'm going to avenge her.”

~*~

I couldn't sleep that night.

All through dinner Elrond had been quiet, casting long looks at me but not saying anything until I'd finally confronted him about it after Maglor had taken us back to our room for bed.

“I don't want you to die.” He said. “I don't want you to do something that will get you killed and to loose you.” He was quiet for a long while then added, “You're the only one I have left”

I didn't have anything to say to that, so I just got under the covers and snuggled closer to Elrond.

For a long time I just stared up at the walls and ceiling.

I could hear the music coming in from Maglor's room. You could hear it every night of course. I tried burying my head under a pillow to block it out. It wasn't loud exactly, and the door and pillow both muffled it, but it still rang through perfectly clear, no matter what I did.

I turned over, nearly leaning out of my bed and glaring at the floor.

Stupid Maglor.

It...wasn't too terrible though. The music I mean.

I turned again, crashing back onto the bed as I threw myself nearer to the middle this time. Elrond grunted in his sleep.

No, now that I was listening to it now, it wasn't that bad.

It was kind of sad.

I felt my eyes getting heavy as I listened, memories coming back to me of home, of Ada and Naneth before any of this had happened. Running along the shoreline with Elrond, and sitting by the library fire as we listened to Lindir or Glassel's stories and songs.

Before I knew what happened, I was asleep.


	7. Elrond

We didn't go to the library much. Maglor was in there a lot of the time, and we'd even once caught sight of Maedhros walking out of there while we were creeping along the corridors. In any case, we'd never learned to read anyway so the books in there wouldn't be much use to us. Who were we going to ask to read them to us?

Still, we did know the way. When Maglor tried to guide us, Elros moved ahead, not far, but just out of reach, pulling me along with him. I dared a glance back to Maglor, who's brows knit together as he watched us, his head turning to the side.

 _“Slow down.”_ I hissed to Elros. “he's going to know if you just go there!”

My brother pulled himself to a stop then, looking from me back out into the corridor again, then after a moment glancing back to Maglor. He let out a long sigh, his lips thinning as he frowned- at me?- but he nodded all the same.

I craned my neck behind me. Maglor was behind us again in a few short strides. He narrowed his eyes at us for a moment, but after a second just shook his head. “This way.” He said swinging his hand off, towards the narrow hallway to our left. We turned the corner, the distant murmuring of the other elves in the fortress echoing up the stone corridors. My own words to Elros yesterday started tugging at my mind again, and my eyes darted around as we moved down the way.

Maglor's hand fell to my shoulder as we approached a pair of thick wooden doors. He barely touched me, his hand more hovering just over me more then anything, but I still felt my muscles go rigged, and froze. I glanced up at him.

Maglor's lips tugged upwards just slightly as he met my gaze, sweeping past Elros and I to open the door. “Just in here.” He murmured. I nodded, shuffling my feet as I waited. Elros crossed his arms, staring stubbornly ahead at the door.

It swung open and Maglor guided us inside.

I remembered the library at home, where we used to take our lessons in. The large windows and arching walls, so _big_ , and space for bookshelves that seem to go on forever, all carved and painted with knots and cranes, and fish, suns and moons and ships and gulls. I remember the tapestries hanging from the walls, the benches and chairs, desks and tables where scribes and scholars sat. I remember the big fireplace at the back where Glassel would softly sing to us about the Great Journey and the founding of Gondolin.

I could see Erestor at the other end of the room here, so small this room was. Elros and I glanced around, and I frowned slightly. There were no tapestries, no gilded carvings or bright paints on the furniture here. The walls were the same cold gray stone as the rest of the fortress, the bookcases lined up like soldiers and spaced far apart. No where near the number we had back home. What few of them there were, however, were crammed full of books, as though to horde whatever scattered bits of information that could be found. There was one table and only a few chairs around it, tucked back into the corner where Erestor stood.

We were led over towards him. I heard and saw no one else in the room besides us. A line of iron-framed windows streached across the wall behind our new tutor, the light streamed in pale and cold. He was little more than a shadow towering over us as he stood in front of them, still holding himself as though he had a spear-pole for a spine, his arms folded behind his back.

I found myself edging closer to Elros.

Erestor's eyes scanned over my brother and I, before he fixed his gaze on Maglor, and bowed his head. “My lord.” he murmured.

“Erestor.” A pause. I glanced back at Maglor and saw his eyes darting towards the table and the books piled atop it, “You have this in hand then?”

I couldn't be sure, from the way the light shone on him, but I thought I saw a smirk pull at the ellon's lips. “I...believe I can handle this, Kano.”

I blinked, and my brother traded a look with me at the way Erestor had named Maglor. Like a _friend_ almost. Did Maglor have friends?

Maglor was speaking again. Saying something in Quenya, which I only knew a few words in. It was enough however.

“Thank you, Erestar. Again.” Maglor turned his attention to us then, kneeling down to our level. “You are in good hands with Erestor. You will learn well under him.” Another weak attempt at a smile- at reassurance?- touched Maglor's lips.

I nodded. Elros gave a short grunt.

Maglor's smile faded. A long sigh escaped him, and his eyes darted to the side for a moment. When he looked back to us, he looked as though he wanted to say more, but instead just pressed his lips together and stood. His face was unreadable after that. He said something else to Erestor, in Quenya, before leaving.

My brother and I watched him go.

“Right.” Erestor's voice came, clipped and business like, as soon as Maglor left the room. “Sit then,” He rapped his knuckles against the table, and Elros and I turned, to see him gesturing to two of the chairs on the side of the table, “We have much to cover.”

Elros and I glanced at on another, then over to Erestor.

“Come,” I murmured, pulling my brother along behind me and climbing up into one of the chairs. Elros climbed up behind me, and we watched as Erestor moved in front of us. And I felt my stomach leap, my eyes flickered over him once, then twice. He looked...different.

He wore a high-collared tunic, and green robes that fell just above his knees. Black leggings. Boots. The tabard with the star across the front was gone. Missing was the mail and leather. I supposed he must have taken those off sometimes, but to actually see him without them felt so strange...

“Master Elrond, are you quite finished staring?”

I felt myself sit up straighter at those words, my ears suddenly burning. Elros sat up too. I saw his fists clench out of the corner of my eyes, saw him glare. I grabbed his hand, hoping to hold him back.

Erestor did not look angry though. His eyebrows were raised, and his head was tilted up. The silvery glow in his eyes was soft as he looked upon us. A wry smile touched his lips. “Calm yourself, Master Elros.” He murmured, “I mean no harm.”

Elros continued to glare. I moved my hand up, onto his arm, trying to pull him back down again. I think it was more that than Erestor's words which finally made my brother fall back.

Erestor sighed, pulling up his own seat across from us and shook his head. “Now then.” He continued. He pressed his lips together, licking them. He heisted for moment, “You said you had a tutor once? What did she teach you?”

Silence, from the both of us.

Erestor sighed. “Right. Forgive me” He raked his fingers through his hair. Some strands came loose from his braid. His eyes swept from us, down to the door at the other end of the room. I think I saw him chewing in the corner of his lip.

We still remained silent. I leaned forward in my seat a bit, tracing over the wood grain with a finger.

“Well,” He said, turning back to us, “Have you learned to read yet? Cirth? Tengwar?”

“Glassel never got to teaching us that.” Elros said. He looked Erestor in the eyes as he said it, arms crossed in front of him and leaning as far back in his chair as he could.

“Ah.” Erestor's lips thinned into a line.

“We know some tengwar. Some.” I tried to offer. I could feel Elros's eyes on me. Seeing Erestor like this was making me feel that uncomfortable too-small feeling again, though. I couldn't help myself.

“Mmm...some?” Erestor shook his head, pulling a piece of parchment, ink and a quill in front of him. He began drawing out a chart.

“We didn't get a chance to learn much.” Elros replied.

Erestor kept his eyes glued on what he was writing out. His pen flicked though. I think I saw him wince.

My brother leaned forward. “What are you doing, anyway?”

He asked just as Erestor was finishing, turning the page towards us. “They are organized by appearance and sound.” His brows drew together, and his lips thinned into a line. With a sharp click of his tongue he shook his head, “There is more to it, of course- phonetic values corresponding to where they are on the table- but you do not need to know all of the technical details in order to read them.”

Elros snorted, as though Erestor had just called us stupid. He still was looking at the tengwar, though. I leaned forward to get a better look as well.

“Here,” Erestor picked up his quill again, and used them to point out each tengwa as he spoke. “Their names go with the sound they make. Tinco, parma, calma, quesse, therefore, 't','p','k','qu.'”

I nodded, forming each name with my own mouth. They sounded strange, like...

“Why are they in Quenya?” Elros asked.

Erestor shrugged, “Because they are a creation of the Noldor. I do not know the Sindarin name for them, I've never needed to know what you call them.”

“Hrumph.” My brother fell back again, arms crossed.

Erestor sighed.

I looked between them. These lessons were going to be long, I could tell.


	8. Maglor

_“_ _ _Winter_ _ is coming, and swiftly, too, m'lord. Our men are few enough as it is, and with the blizzards- _escalating by the year_ , I might remind you- that Morgoth's surely had more than a hand in during previous years-”

“I never thought to see the day when you would suggest a retreat, Húron! And yet here you are insisting upon it yet _again_. And what are we to do? Give free reign of what few lands we have under our domain to Morgoth's beasts? After everything we have fought for-”

“ _You_ , have fought for, you mean? Those men were under your command the last I checked, Baralin, do not pretend this is something other that your pride speaking, look at this with sense...”

The argument swirled around me, the same one that had been going on between Maedhros's councilors for weeks at this point. It was _pantomime_ now, the way the two of them, Elf and Man, swung their arms about, rolled their eyes, tossed their heads. Flickering shadows from the fireplace hardly helped the image. They were telling each other _horror stories_.

_“If you do not do as I say, **this** is sure to happen...” _

Above all, their arguments were background noise by now, becoming as the rumble of a storm outside the walls of the fortress, the constant rattle of rain against the roof. Nothing new, and rather than listening, I found myself staring down at the map layed out over the table we were gathered around, my own thoughts wandering.

_Backward and forward, they could go on like this for an eternity. Winter will have come and gone, Baralin's company having fought off orcs and wargs and Eru knows what else twelve times over by the time they've reached a consensus, and Maedhros..._

I glanced up at my brother, standing behind the two others, arms crossed and lips pulled into a grim line.

“Enough.” Maedhros snapped, “The _both_ of you. As I have said, I see no reason as of yet to pull back, and until I do-”

On the other side of the room, the door creaked open. We all turned, as our from the shadows edging my brother's study emerged Erestar.

“Forgive me, Lord Nelyafinwë , Lord Makalaurë .” Erestar murmured, ducking his head down into a bow as he paced over the stone floor towards us.

“Late again, Erestar.” My brother observed, “This is...what? The third time, in twice as many weeks?” It was _me_ who Maedhros was looking at as he said this, sharp disapproval weighing down his features.

I met my brother's stare in equal measure. I pulled in a deep breath to steady myself, trying to ignore the creeping knowledge that whispered in my ear _Yes, this idea of yours is causing trouble where you did not wish it to,_  and twisted at my gut.

Of course he had been keeping count.

“It will...it will not happen again my lord. I can assure you.” Erestar murmured, as he took his place beside me.

Maedhros's gaze lingered on the both of us. “No.” He said, “It will not.”

Across the table from us, Húron and Baralin shifted in their spots, glancing at one another then back to us in the heavy silence that followed. Dragging his hand through his hair, Húron licked his lips, looking as though he thought he should say something. Baralin cleared his throat.

“Now,” Maedhros said, suddenly advancing on the map- on _us_ I could not help but think- and clapping his hand against the table. He glanced around at the four of us,“Where were we?”

~*~

The rest of our council went on with no other interruptions, no confrontation between Maedhros and I, no indication of what had happened when Erestar had walked into the room at all. The others were filing out of the room when I pulled Erestar to the side.

“Where where you this time?”

The other nér just shook his head as he walked on. His eyes darted over towards the iron framed lancet behind my brother's desk, and the gray-skied courtyard beyond. “I have been leaving the boys with Miliel, in the kitchens, after our lessons, since they began.” He replied, “I merely had some difficulty finding her this time.”

“Mmmm...”

Erestar glanced back at me then, “Their reluctance to come with me in my search hardly helped matters,” He went on. A pause, and then, “I mean you no disrespect, My Lord-”

I took in a sharp breath.

“-but if I may?”

I nodded Erestar along, absently dragging my thumb across the knuckles of the fist clenched at my side.

“They should not have been allowed on their own to begin with.”

We were by the doorjamb now, and both of us came to a halt.

I was about to say something, but Erestar cut me off with a shake of his head, “No, Your mind was in other places. _Kano_ , I know that. But as you have insisted to Lord Maedhros and myself, they are _boys_. And this _is_ a fortress. They cannot be let to run where they will without someone to watch them. I do not know what they do when they are on their own, but now they resist when someone is there to watch them.”

I gave a short grunt , but could only nod in response. What was I to say? He was right about this. “And to you?” I have asked, “How have they been? How are their lessons going?”

Erestar hesitated, glancing out the door into the hall, then back to me, “They...are very inquisitive.”

A wry smile tugged at my lips, “You mean they cannot help but question you.”

Erestar sighed, beginning to move back out into the corridor. He nodded as he turned away. “Elros more than his brother, I do as I can, but they seem determined to be-”

“Makalaurë! A word?”

I stopped in my tracks. Up until that point I had been following Erestar out into the rest of the fortress, but now Maedhros came walking past, towards his desk and was calling to me.

I turned, glancing from Erestar, over towards my brother. His arms were crossed, and he was leaning back slightly, eyebrows raised, almost in challenge. As though he _dared_ me to say no to him. It was the sort of look he gave those of his commanders who he knew he had cornered in debates on strategy. It was the sort of look Atar used to wear when he knew he was right.

I narrowed my eyes, hard defiance pulling me back from him. “Maedhros...” I warned.

“Makalaurë.” His tone was cool as ever.

I heard Erestar shifting in his spot behind us. Still not wanting to tear my gaze from Maedhros (not wanting to admit defeat, I suppose I should say.), I glanced at my old friend out of the corner of my eye. Erestar was already slipping off. “We can continue this at another time, M'lord. You are obviously otherwise occupied...”

I tuned then to stop him, but before I had the opportunity to protest, he was gone.

I spun on Maedhros, glowering after him as he moved behind his desk, dropping himself into the chair. My brother glanced over towards me once, over the piled of papers and books scattered across the top his his desk, before he sighed, shook his head, and pulled out a worn leather book. Cleared himself a spot. Took out a quill, dipped it in his ink pot. Began writing.

“Are you coming Makalaurë?” He drawled, “Or shall I have to speak to you from across the room?”

I balked at his words, before shaking my head and striding towards him. “What do you think-”

Maedhros glanced up at me, head cocking to the side. “What do _I_ think?” He said. He brushed a loose piece of hair behind his ear, “The more apt question is what are _you_ thinking? You knew this would come, Makalaurë.”

I felt something in my gut tighten, felt a nauseous heat settle over me. My nails dug into my palms as I forced myself to hold steady under my brothers gaze, hearing those words however. “These lessons are only beginning, brother, you must understand that-”

“I _understand_ that Erestar is becoming distracted by these lessons from his duties.” Maedhros replied. The pen went down. He turned more fully to face me. “This is thrice now, do you wish me to be pleased about this?”

Sharp and hot, I felt my pride rise up in my chest at being chastised as though I were a child. “We are doing something _new_ here! In an environment far from made for it! You will pardon Erestar and I if things do not go as perfectly as you would like at first!” I snapped. I could feel my muscles pulling rigid, hear my breath coming fast and sharp.

Maedhros merely shook his head, shutting his eyes for a moment as he turned away.

My hand slammed down on the edge of his desk. _“Maedhros!”_

He let out a long breath, edging his head over just enough to look at me out of the corner of his eye.

“What?”

In the light filtering through the window behind him, my brother looked paler than usual. The way he held himself over his desk...he was hanging over it I realized now, as I actually looked at him, trying to figure out what to say. Yes, Hanging there, propped up by his arm, though he still held his back stubbornly straight, kept his jaw set.

He seemed... _tired._

I sighed, feeling my own idiotic pride slipping away as I stepped up behind him, wrapping my hand around his shoulder. For a moment I felt him stiffen beneath my touch, before suddenly that tension was gone. He dropped forward, hand raking through his hair.

“I do not mean to give you even more to think about Nelyo.” I murmured, “Please. This is only the beginning. Everything will be worked out now. This will not happen again. I swear to you.”

Maedhros gave a biter laugh, “Be watchful of your words. Eru knows where the wrong oath will take you.”

Despite myself I felt a smirk tug at my lips. “Please, Nelyo?”

He sighed, sitting upright again, looking me in the eye. “One last chance, Kano.” He replied. “And that is all I will give you.”

“Thank you, brother” I said, bowing my head and giving his shoulder a squeeze. “You will not regret this.”

He grunted. “We shall see. Now go.” He waved me off, though not without flashing me the smallest of smiles. “I've things to do.”

“Of course, of course.” I nodded, slipping out from behind my desk then over to the door.

“Nelyo,” I called back, just before I left.

He glanced up.

“Remember...remember to get yourself some rest. You are not the only one here...If you need me to do anything...”

Maedhros grunted again, nodding as he turned back to his work and waving me off.


	9. Erestor

My feet strode past wide spaced aisles of bookshelves, my fingers still weaving through my hair, tying off the final strands of my braid, an oatcake  nabbed from the kitchens during my race up here was shoved into my mouth. The air was still scraping against my throat as I bit down on the cake, tearing it out of my mouth,eyes narrowed at the lines of books before me.

Last shelf. Seven aisles worth of books, and all through them nothing more than what I had already set aside. Of course, I do not know just what I was expecting. I did this every morning before our lessons, and every evening as I was planning. Ai! As though Eru would bring fourth children's books from the aether to help me in this quest!

I used what we had. A few old books of poetry and rhyme, a couple of scattered collections of legends and stories dating back to Cuivienen here and there, my own half-forgotten memories of the songs and tales I used to know as a child. The fact was, I was scraping at the bottom of a very shallow barrel. Little as I knew about teaching, I doubted treatises tracing the development of Noldorin Quenya in comparison to the more natural growth of Telerin dialects would much appeal- _Eru,_ or even be _understood!_ \- by a pair of six-year-olds just beginning their lessons.

The silence of the library was interrupted only by my own frustrated groan as I ripped off another chunk of oatcake with my teeth and swept back towards the table where my books were stacked.

_Eru, Kano, what were you thinking? What was **I** thinking in agreeing to this? _

I refused to think about how ill prepared I was. In how very much I was not a schoolteacher, and about the blank looks I would receive from the boys, if not dead silence in answer to my questions. At the least we had found some sense of rhythm by now. Things seemed to be getting better.

I sat down, slipping down the old book of legends from the top of the pile in front of me, and flipping to my own hand written pages kept inside.

_O the hoot! O the hoot!_  
_How he trillups on his flute!_

_O the hoot of Tinfang Warble..._

Three copies, written in as plain and as clear a version of Tengwar as I could make it. I sighed, flicking the pages beneath my fingers. Eru help me, but this would have to do...

I was placing the pages before Elrond and Elros's seats when clipped, measured footsteps reached my ears.

_No,they cannot be here so early!_

Habit possessed me. My head shot up as I lept to my feet, at perfect attention when I turned to see, not Makalaurë with the elflings being pushed along before him, but rather Lord Maedhros, his own arms weighted down with books, parchment, his reading stone.

“My Lord,” I murmured, bowing my head as my gaze slipped over him.

“Erestar.” there was a pause, as I felt his eyes sweep from myself over to the table and it's collected books and parchment. “Ah, they've not come yet?”

I shook my head, turning again to look at Lord Maedhros. “No. It is early on yet...” I trailed off, taking in the sight of my Lord before me, “Do you require my assistance?” again, I couldn't help but notice the pile of books he held wrapped in his arms, “Not to overreach myself but I could carry those if you-”

Lord Maedhros shook his head. “I have this well in hand for now.” a pause, “Although, there are a few other things I may require later. Bring these to me after your lesson?” even as I nodded he was already sliding his books onto the desk, pulling out a parchment and writing down numbers and titles. “In the archives, the locked door, back of the room.” He nodded, handing me the key.

“The archives, m'lord? You seek your old records?”

I helped him gather up his things again. “There is a pattern I recognize...” Maedhros began murmuring, but he merely shook his head and trailed off, instead fixing me with his steel-hard gaze once more. “You will do this?”

“Yes , m'lord.”

He grunted, giving me a short nod. His gaze darted towards my table again and lingered there for a long moment.

“They are progressing admirably, my lord.” It wasn't...technically untrue. Considering their circumstances that we were making any progress at all was remarkable. “They are good boys.” So I kept telling __myself_ _ every day, dealing with Elros's questions, meant more to get a rise out of me than to satisfy any form of curiosity. “Lord Makalaurë seems to care deeply-”

“My brother hardly knows the boys.” Lord Maedhros let out a sharp breath, turning towards me once more as he reshuffled the books in his arms to a more comfortable positioning. “He cares for what they represent to him.”

He gave another sharp shake of his head, lips thinning as he cut himself off again into his usual brisk tone once more. “Right. I've all this to go through. I shall call a council later, until then...” He shrugged.

“I wish you luck, m'lord. I will bring those records to you in time.”

We nodded to one another, and I watched as Maedhros left. Soon afterward came Makalaurë and the twins.

~*~

With three swift pen strokes I wrote out the day's tengwa, and turned the sheet of parchment towards the two boys. It was silent enough that I could hear it hiss against the table. For the past few weeks I had had the twins renaming tengwar as they saw fit. Since Elros's pointing it out the other day it had been bothering me, and though I did not know the Sindarin names for individual tengwar I could use this to teach.

Elrond sat kneeling on his chair, arms folded on top of the table before him and leaning forward. Elrods was curled up in his own chair, seemingly more watching me for any sudden movements than paying attention, but even he sat up straighter as I spoke.

“Parma.” I said, “So, if we are renaming this one we shall need words that begin with the sound, 'puh,' suggestions?”

I glanced at the two boys, who for a while just stared back at me, Elrond with his brows drawing together, as though thinking, and Elros still as stubborn as ever with that same blank look, almost a challenge by now.

“Pent?” Elrond tentatively put forward, “Or...Pennas?”

“Clever, aren't you?” I said, allowing a small smirk to touch my lips, “For Parma means 'book,' while you have chosen 'story' and 'history.'” As I looked between the two of them Elrond seemed to grow under my praise. “Any other suggestions?” I asked.

“Pilin” Elrond offerend again, “And Peng.” a paused for a while, “or Piach.”

I sighed, “Thank you, Elrond.” Now I turned my full gaze onto Elros. “Now, I know your brother is just as clever, surely he might have something to add?”

The two of us sat staring at one another. Eru, here I was, a former Loremaster-to-be, a warrior, and Lord Maglor's second-in-command, locked in a battle of wills with a _six-year-old!_

Still, he crossed his arms, only narrowing his eyes and not saying a word.

Shaking my head, I turned to glance out the window. Our time together was drawing to a close and I had other things to do than win a staring contest with Elros. I picked up the key again and stood, heading back for the archives.

“I've some things to gather, get yourselves ready to go and I will take you to Miliel.”

~*~

I'd gathered up the records- old journals and collected letters from even before the Nírnaeth Arnoediad, judging by the tengwar crawling up the spines- and as I exited he archives and locked the door, was met with Elrond, waiting for me.

He shuffled from one foot to another as he looked up at me. My eyebrows shot up.

“Yes, Elrond?”

“Can I..ah...borrow a book?” He pressed his lips together, his gaze darting off to the floor again, “Miliel said she'd get one of the kitchen boys to read to us, and...”

“Of course.” I gestured to the table and he pile of books upon it, “Pick one, and take care for it. Let's not get it covered in flour, yes?”

He nodded, running off, with myself following behind, before handing one of the thicker volumes to me.

From there I led the two boys back off to the kitchens in silence, as had become our habit in the past weeks. As I was handing off Elrond his book, shuffling my own stacks of parchment and records between my arms, Elros stopped. He looked up at me.

“Peredhel.” His only word.

I stopped, my brows drawing together and cocking my head at the boy. “What?”

“That tengwa.” Elros said, “we're naming it Peredhel.” and with those words, he walked off after his brother.

 

 


	10. Elrond

“Ah! And there they are! Behaving for Master Erestor I hope?” There was a thump of dough on the counter as Miliel's voice reached us. Just stepping into the kitchens, I glanced around. Off on the other side of the room and all around me people were buzzing around, cooking, chopping, stirring, checking on foods and calling out to one another. It had to be bussier here than in all other parts of the fortress! But near the door, Miliel alone worked.

I nodded to her, smiling, or attempting one as I edged forward trying to avoid the distracted feet that paced around the bread ovens and Miliel's workspace. My eyes darted backwards. Where was Elros? But even as I thought it I heard him running up behind me and turned towards him. He skidded to a stop, his feet hissing against the thatch and stone of the floor. I blinked at him, cocking my head to the side. What had taken him?

Elros didn't say anything though, just shaking his head.

“Come here, boys, you need to stay out of the way! Don't want you getting hurt now, right?”

We both turned back to Miliel at that, her gentle chiding bringing us forward towards her, Elros dragging his feet more than I, but still following after me as he eyed the others moving past, having to dance around him.

Miliel paused in her work, laying the dough she was kneeding to the side and smiled down at us. Her dark hair always wrapped in a bun behind her hair, and her arms and face always covered in flour, she had the same harried and constantly busy manner that most of the elves who lived in Amon Ereb seemed to. Still, she always had a smile for my brother and I and was always willing to talk to us as she worked. It helped, too, that she tower over us nearly so much as many of the other elves here, and didn't have the same silver fire shining behind her eyes.

“Get yourselves settled in and I'll be with you in a moment.” she said, gesturing to the chairs she had set up at the other end of the worktable. We nodded, and walked off towards them, the sounds of Miliel's work constant background noise.

As Elros climbed onto his chair, I handed him up the book Erestor had given me. “Here, hold this.” I said.

He eyed the book for a long moment before grabbing it with both of his hands, dragging it up onto his lap. “What's this?” He ran his fingers over the cover, and as I dragged myself up into the chair next to him I saw him open the book and begin flipping through it.

“The book I asked Erestor for. The one Miliel said she'd get one of the kitchen boys to read for us.”

Elros snorted. “If they're not too bussy.” He said, His brows drew together, and he began flipping through pages faster. He went back and forth on one, staring at both sides.

I sighed, rolling my eyes at my brother. “Are you going to give it back?” I said. “What are you staring at?”

“Aren't books supposed to have words?” Elros replied, glancing up to me, frowning, his head turned to the side.

“What?” I blinked, taking the book from him and flipping though the pages myself. And no matter which one I turned to, at the front or in the middle of the book there wore no pictures, no words, no __letters_ _ to be seen! I felt my breath come in suddenly. But this wasn't...why would you have a blank book?

I looked up to Elros, glanced to the side, then back to the book again as I shut it. The cover...this wasn't the one I'd pick up from the table at the end of our lesson...

“I think Erestor gave me the wrong book.” I murmured. “When he was going though that big pile he had with him, I mean.”

Elros snorted again. “Why would he have an empty book with him in the first place?” he said, crossing his arms as he settled farther back into his seat. “Seems kind of dumb to me.”

“I don't know...” I murmured. I ran my fingers over the cover again. It was plain brown leather, sewn with green thread. The tengwar were stamped up the side of the book in gold. I turned the spine towards me and squinted, trying to read it.

“What does it say?” I could feel my brother leaning in, trying to get a look at the only words that were apparently written on or in the entire book.

“How should I know?” I sighed, resting the book on my lap. “We could ask Mil-”

“What? No!” My brother hissed at me.

I stared at him. “Why not?” I knew he didn't like most of the people here, but Miliel was usually so nice to us, and even Elros seemed not to mind her too much. Slowly, my eyes narrowed as I watched him, and I felt my lips press into a thin line.

“ _Because_ ,” He said, letting out a big sigh as though he were explaining the most obvious thing in the world, “If you ask her, she's going to want to see the book, and then she'll probably take it away. Then we'll never know why it's blank.”

“Maybe it's a journal or something.” I said, “Maybe it belongs to Erestor, I don't think he'd like if we had his things.”

“It's only for a little while. I think-”

At the moment the sound of bread dough being kneeded stopped. We heard Miliel sigh, and at that sound the both of us shut our mouths, turning towards her as she moved towards us.

Pulling a bowl forward, and scooping out some flour into it from the sack she kept near her work table, she laughed. “You've both gotten quiet! Not up to anything I hope?”

Both of us shook our heads, me hard enough that I was dizzy afterward.

Miliel narrowed her eyes at us, “Hrmmm...” A smirk was tugging at her lips though.

I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, as though I'd done something wrong, though I wasn't sure what.

“Ah well. Do you have that book, Elrond?”

My tongue felt heavy and all tied up. I could feel Elros watching me. “No.” I said. “No, I...I forgot it.”

“It's alright! You don't need to be upset about it!” She put the bowl to the side and reached over for me, gently turning my head up to her pushing back my hair. She smiled at me again “I'm sure you'll remember next time, yeah?”

“Y-yes..” I let out a sigh. From underneath the table I felt Elros reach for my hand and give it a quick squeeze.

“In the meantime..” She said, her voice brightening, as she brought forward a jug of water and the jar of honey, “You may help me with this, how does that sound?”

Neither of us said anything. I glanced over at Elros for a moment, and he was looking everywhere else _but_ at Miliel, his mouth working and pulling to the side in a kind of annoyed way.

“Ahh, now don't look like that. Come, I think you can do this, I'm not making Lembas! Consider yourselves special, how many boys can say they've made bread?”

Elros and I glanced at one another. I turned back to watch Milliel as she put more ingredients into the bowl and began mixing them together into a thick dough.

Elros sighed. I leaned forward, still watching. “Well...”

That was enough for Miliel, at least. “Excellent, then!” She said, “Pull yourselves forward, Elrond, Elros, get closer.”

I darted down from my chair, slipping the book underneath it for now, hopefully hidden, and pushed my chair forward. When I climbed back up into my chair again the counter in front of me was white with flour. It looked like it had snowed!

“What's that for?” Elros was asking. It wasn't like the questions he usually asked Erestor, searching and demanding. Instead he sounded genuinely curious, dragging his fingers though the flour as he drew out circles and swirls in it.

“It keeps the dough from sticking.” Miliel said, “ You're going to be kneeding it!” With those words, she poured the dough from the bowl out onto the counter and separated it into two, laying a piece each in front of us. “Here, let me show you.” I watched her as she came around, behind us. I felt a wave of heat wash over me as I silently begged she wouldn't notice the book. She didn't seem to as she settled between the two of us, and brought my piece of dough in front of her, beginning to fold it over and over, in on itself. “Like this,” With those words she pushed my doughball in front of me, “Now you two, let's see you.”

Glancing between once another once more, only to shrug, we nodded. The dough was soft beneath my hands as I molded it with each fold. As I got into a rhythm with it I found myself smiling. It was almost... _fun._

The dough became springy to the touch after a while, and by then Miliel had taken it from us, putting it to the side, with the dough she had been working on before. Letting it rest she said.

“Now,” She said, in those next quiet moments, “What have you gotten up to today? Did Master Erestor teach you anything new?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but __Elros_ _ cut in before me.

“Some things. We're still learning the tengwar. He tests us on how many we can recognize as each lesson begins.” He paused, dragging his fingers through the flour again, before looking up, “What does this mean?” He finally asked, drawing out one of the words from the side of the book.

Miliel's eyebrows rose. She leaned over the counter cocking her head to the side. “Ah, that?” She smiled, “Letters.”

“Oh.” Elros paused, and began writing something else out. “And this?”

Here Miliel's brows drew together. She glanced between us, looking almost bemused. “Maedhros.”

I felt my stomach drop.

“Where are you getting these words?” Miliel was asking.

“I see them. I just want to know...”

Their conversation faded off into the background. _Maedhros. This was one of Maedhros's things..._

I had to get this back, before he noticed it was gone.

 

 


	11. Elros

Elrond was nervous the rest of the day. No one noticed, or if they did I guess they just thought it was how we always were. The quiet, scared elflings taken and kept as hostages here. I saw them sometimes, soldiers, servents, Maglor and Erestor, darting their eyes from us sometimes. Frowning. They never _did_ anything though. Never tried to contact Ada to return us to him.

So they didn't notice Elrond. But _I_ did. The way he pulled more into himself. The rest of the afternoon he was distracted. I couldn't get him to speak much, and though he would answer Miliel when she spoke to us, would do as she asked when she asked for our help, it was always with short words and he would blink, as if he were surprised, or waking up from a dream.

When Maglor came for us later, to get us ready for dinner, he seemed even smaller than before, sticking closely to my side as we slid down off the bench we'd been sitting on. I reached over, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and giving it a quick squeeze, but he shrugged me off, glancing back over to Miliel to make sure she was distracted, before ducking down to grab the book from it's hiding place. I turned to look over to Maglor. In the dim light of the kitchens, he wasn't much more than a big shadow, outlined near the doorway.

“We'll get it put back before he even notices.” I whispered to Elrond as he came back near my side again.

“Uh-huh.” He just nodded. He turned to me, the corner of his lip twitching up for a second- I think he was trying to smile- before shaking his head and sighing. He was the first one of us to begin dragging his feet over to Maglor. I followed.

I could almost _hear_ Maglor sighing as he looked down at us, shuffling our way towards him, even though he didn't actually do so. No, he'd been trying to hide that more recently, but you could still see it in the way he held himself, one moment standing tall his shoulders pushed back, the next crossing his arms behind his back, the next reaching up and tugging at his hair as we got to his side. “You are ready to go then?” He asked.

Elrond nodded. I looked up to him and grunted.

Maglor gave a short nod. His eyes darted back down the corridor, lip thinning, before waving us onwards. We walked in silence.

Elrond was hugging the book against his chest, his fingers tracing up it's spine as we went along. Maglor's gaze turned to him, or it must have for him to notice.

“What have you got there, Elrond?” He asked. It was one of those questions meant to break the silence more than anything. I was beginning to get the idea that Maglor didn't like it when it got too quiet.

“Book. Erestor gave it to me.” Elrond managed to say.

“Ah...”

Quiet again. I could hear Maglor taking in his next breath through his teeth, making a sharp click.

“I could, if you wished, read it-” He tried once more.

“No!”

I turned to look at Elrond now, and he blinked, shaking his head, realizing how he sounded. The words seemed as though it could not leave him fast enough.

“No,” He tried again, “I- I want to try it myself...?”

Maglor's brows drew together and he frowned, looking down at the both of us for a long moment. He tugged at his hair again, and now shaking his head he actually did sigh. “I see. Of course you do. Still...” He shook his head, we were getting to the door to out room now. “My offer stands.”

He opened the door leading us to the wash basin in the corner. I was first to go, letting Maglor watch me while I scrubbed down my hands and face. Elrond wandered off behind me, I head him moving around and I glanced back once, out of the corner of my eyes to see him slipping the book beneath his pillow. I tried to give him a smile to let him know that it would be okay. That we'd find a tie to slip away and put the thing back. I don't know if he saw.

~*~

Dinner felt like to took forever, and it took even longer after Maglor put us to bed for the music to start. Atleast we knew when the music played, that Maglor would be distracted.

I felt Elrond shifting beside me, and watched him dig under his pillow and slide himself off of the bed as I pushed myself upright.

I was halfway down when he turned up to look at me and froze. “What are you doing?” he said.

I blinked, before dropping myself down after him. “What do you think? I'm going with you!”

He shook his head, “No, no you stay here. You don't need to get into trouble too. I'll be back quickly.”

“But-”

He actually _glared_ at me. “No Elros.” he paused then, shaking his head, “Please? We've snuck through the fortress before, I can do it.”

_“Not at night,”_ I wanted to say, _“Not with one of Maglor or Maedhros's own things,”_ but I kept my mouth shut, just crossing my arms and giving him the same look I would give Maedhros. “Fine.” I muttered, after a minute.

He stood there watching me, so I climbed back up into bed and lied down. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, seeing him nod to himself, before turning and slipping out of the room.

I couldn't hear him, so I counted. _One....two...three..._ I couldn't go too early, he would see me if I did. _Ten...eleven...twelve...._ Still if I took too long, I wouldn't be able to find him! _Twenty one...twenty two...twenty three..._

There, that seemed long enough. Shooting back up I slid down off of the bed and down out into the halls. The sounds of Maglor's music were all that I heard this late at night. Nothing else. I picked up my feet really carefully, putting them down even more slowly. My eyes kept darting back to Maglor's room. He would hear me, I _knew_ it. My heart was pounding in my ears, my stomach spinning itself in knots.

I was getting so close, he had to look out eventually, didn't he?

Featureless wall and cold floor passed by. The floor was steadily getting eaten up by my feet. I was getting closer and closer and what would Maglor do if he caught me? He would be mad...I remembered the fire in his eyes when Ammë ...

He was quiet most of the time, but I'd _seen_ him angry. And he would want to know why I was out here. I couldn't tell him about elrond though. I would have to keep quiet about that. Maybe give my brother time to get back before anyone could notice that he wasn't in bed either...

The door was right in front of me now. In the shadows and torchlight it was like a black void. _Keep quiet now, you're almost past. Keep quiet..._

And no one ever came. The music never stopped, it never even slowed down.

I started to turn the corner, to pass Maglor's doorway. _Did he really not hear me?_

Sound faded as I got farther alone. He really didn't! I felt myself grinning at that. And now it was so quiet down here, no one could be out here right? No one close enough to catch me, anyway! Now all I had to do was find my brother...

An almost giddy pride at not yet being caught pressing against the walls of my chest, I slipped down through the halls, only stopping or darting behind a corner to hide if I heard approaching voices. No one ever saw me though. I felt invincible. Like Granduncle Fingon, sneaking into Angband.

And that was when I heard them .

The both of them Erestor and Maedhros, their voices were coming up the hall quickly. Maedhros sounded  _mad_. His voice was low, but he spoke fast. I didn't know what he was saying, the words sounded like like sharpened swords though.

I glanced around, looking for something, _anything,_ I could hide behind, only to spot a door hanging slightly ajar at the last moment. I dove behind it just as Maedhros and Erestor passed. I watched them.

Where were they going? No the library... _Elrond!_

I started following, as fast as I dared go. I was sure me and my Mûmakil feet could be heard now, but I didn't care. I'd lost sight of them, but If they were going where I thought they were...

I started running, the walls and torches flashing past my vision as I went until suddenly...

The wind was knocked out of me, a dull thud spread from my nose across the rest of my face as I found myself stumbling back, and looking up to find...Erestor.

I glanced around looking for a way to escape, crawling backwards as I tried to get to my feet once more.

His brows were drawn together. He frowned. “Elros...?” He murmured.

Maedhros was nowhere to be seen.

“What are you doing up so-” He shook his head, cutting himself off. “Nevermind.” He was going after me now. I ran, but before I could get anywhere he grabbed me, and I felt myself jerked back by my shoulder.

“No! No let me go! I have to-”

He only grabbed me more securely, now picking me up. The corridors behind us began shrinking and I knew he would be taking me back to bed, even as I kicked and struggled to free myself.

No.

I felt myself freeze.

No, he wouldn't be taking me back to my room. He would be taking me back to Maglor.

And it was with that realization that I began to squirm and kick all the harder.

 

 

 


End file.
